Monthly Archives:
March 2006

thots

re-ignition

First, I consider myself a Christian. More exactly, I am a Protestant. To be even more clear, I am a an Anabaptist in the Mennonite tradition. Specifically, I am a descendant from the Mennonites who moved from the Neatherland area to Prussia (now Poland), then to Russia and then to Canada. I am neither Russian, Prussian or Polish. Most accurately I am from Frisian descent.

Second, I have not attended church in a fairly long while. This is for many different reasons. But I have recently attended an Anglican church here in Winnipeg, in the Wolsely area. Several things have been brought to my attention by my over-active brain. Specifically, baptism, liturgy, tradition and church structure. Among others.

Third, these things, coupled with my understanding of the physical world and the world of religion, need to be addressed. My address to these issues is not something that needs to be public. It is of a personal nature. But I require an outlet for my thinking. And this is a natural outlet.

Fourth, I will be presenting my ideas on religion in the next while. None of the ideas addressed are prescriptions for other people. Religion is about a personal journey. Not a demand for others to follow suit. But my ideas will either help others on their journey or cause me, possibly through comments made by others, to change course. Either way it is win-win.

Fifth, I need to win at poker tonight.

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news

Dog Handler Found Guilty

Abu Ghraib dog handler found guilty. [Care of the Military Family Network]

Isn’t “Dog Handler” the term the US Armed Forces uses for all of its soldiers working with detainees?

But they are closing Abu Ghraib so that they can open a bigger and badder prison. Good news for out of work dog handlers. Bad news for those being handled or man-handled.

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news

Blue Moon NewsDay.

Syncategorematic may have reported on it first (during the leadership debate) but I came to my own conclusion on my own. And I saw it in his face, in a still photograph nonetheless. I am not one to steal another’s thunder so I want to give mad props to Syncategorematic.

Stephen Harper is gaining weight. And he has been cleared by the ethics czar. These were the two issues on which I reported on March 3rd (that being the ethics probe and Harper’s love handles).

If he was innocent then why was he being so hard to work with? Maybe it was not unethical, maybe it was just inconsiderate. Especially to the voters that actually voted for a Liberal Emerson. Maybe it was stupid of Emerson to attack the Conservatives and then join them.

It’s like someone insulting the Audio-Visual club but then joining their ranks because they could make a fucking awesome skate video for you and your friends. Or something. I just keep waiting for Emerson to do something with the power he has got and then to leave the Conservatives in the lurch. But maybe I am making this out to be a teen high-school drama that is unlikely to unfold. Kind of anti-climatic.

Equally non-thrilling and very uninteresting is the whole Harper weight-gain thing. If he loses the weight it will not be as dramatic as those facinating advertisements with before and after photos that are unbelievable. And Jared can kiss my ass. I hate you.

But it seems that the planets and stars have aligned and the news of ethics and weight have fallen together once again. Twice in a month. Like a blue moon.

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news Politics

Crack of the Whip

Bring out the whips, it is the third anniversary of the Iraq invasion.  The third anniversay is leather. The 2nd is cotton, the first is paper, and next year will be fruit/flowers.

No WarThe leather and whips will be used on the Iraqis.  The fruit and flowers are already being prepared to be sent to Bush.

As these protesters are waving flags and doing thier thing the alledged 20th hi-jacker is likely not to be executed. This is because the government lawyer tainted the witnesses for the government by providing transcripts of the case so far, telling them what to say and other such nonsense. You would think that in a high profile case such as this that the government lawyer would not bungle it so very very badly. One person messed the whole thing up. So now they won’t be able to kill the suicide hi-jacker. He will have to continue living. Shucks. No martyrdom for you, sir. And no flipping the switch for Mr. Bush. (Do you think Bush would pardon the guy? Unlikely, he did not pardon minors or the mentally handicapped. But he would pardon a turkey at thanksgiving. . . )

But let’s crack that whip and get back to work. The war machine can’t run itself. It needs human blood to grease the gears of freedom in progress.

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news

Sewing On Another Canadian Flag

The Conservatives (big and little C, always little brains) seem to think that because terrorist groups hate the US of A that they will hate Canada as well.  If the US will be attacked then brace yourself Canada.  9/11 was an attack on Canada too.

I don’t think this is the case.

Case in point.  A Canadian man was held hostage in Palestine.  They wanted to use him as currency.   A bartering chip with American and British governments.  They rifled through his pockets and found his Canadian Passport.  Then they got nice with him.  Even gave them a phone number to call if he ever needed help.

Seems that Canada is still a friend to people in the world.  Do we want to lose that by fighting in America’s wars?  Do we want to downgrade the perception people have of us because the ‘A” in USA stands for asshole?  Do we want to be hanging around people who will drag our name through the mud in order to get what they want?  How long will it take until a passport will endanger rather than save your ass?

It is time to get out of Afghanistan and to distance ourself from the US.  And to tell Bush to fuck himself.

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news

Plagarism, Theft, Identity Fraud

“Why not become one of the United States?” They say.
“Canada is becoming more and more like the United States,” they say.

I call bullshit. If anything Americans are becoming more like us.  They should be joining us.  The proof? You want proof?!

While the American motion occurred first (beat us to the punch) the Canadian motion was in the works long before.  The only reason the Canadian version has not been released yet is because Parliament has not met yet.

This is theft.  This is plagarism.  This is disgusting.  This is obscene.  This  level of identity misappropriation is on the scale of the Shakespeare Authorship Debate.

Everyone with half-a-brain KNOWS who wrote the plays attributed to Shakespeare.  I mean the evidence is right there in the script.  Francis Bacon.

The idea that Shakespeare wrote what is commonly called “Shakespeare’s Plays” is one that is contentious and a hot-button.  Everyone has an idea about them.  Everyone has an opinion.  And everyone has an itchy trigger finger, just waiting to shoot their mouth off about the topic.

The fact that some people have to create long diatribes and registered domains in defence of Shakespeare proves my point.  My point is, Bacon wrote “Shakespeare’s” plays.

But it also proves my initial point.  And that is that many people point to the US and say we are becoming them.  I say bullshit.  Bush has been called to be censured.  There is a possibility of impeachment.  But this is because he abused power, broke the law, and harm to the American people’s freedoms.

Harper, on the other hand, is likely to be on the receiving end of a motion of censure because he is being difficult.  His actions may not have been unethical but they were not nice.  In Canada you get a slap on the wrist if you are not nice.  Just like the prisoners in Canadian Bacon (where Stephen Wright is the mountie). [Ed Note: "Surrender Pronto or we'll level Toronto."]

My point is that we are not Americans.  Our system does not allow for it.  And I will not allow future historians to debate whether we are Americans or whether Americans are Canadians.

Shakespeare actually was Francis Bacon.

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news op-ed thots

unlikely to happen again

I am no sports fanatic. I definitely am not a fan of baseball. And the only thing I find more boring than watching baseball in the stadium is watching it on tv. And the only thing worse than that is watching baseball news. The lowest rung on the ladder, however, is reserved for reading about baseball.

But something about baseball caught my eye and I needed to do a little investigating. The World Baseball Classic. Nation against nation. Hard-hitting, fast paced, action packed boredom.

Canada beat the US. And that is somewhat interesting. But Mexico beat Canada.
However, there is something here that does not make sense to me.

I am not a mathamatician or an event planner. I am not a game-theory nutball. I am no bean counter. But it seems to me that there are several anomalies in the way this tournament is set up.

There are several divisions. Each team in each division plays a round-robin (ahem, plays every other team in the division). And that should not be a problem. The best two teams in each division go on to the second round. After tomorrow the second round teams will be determined. But here is where it gets interesting.

  • Canada beat the US
  • The US beat Mexico
  • Mexico beat Canada

and all three beat South Africa (the US match is pending at this point though, just making an assumption here. The South African amature team is likely not going to be as stiff a competition as some Canadians are hoping.)

What this means is that these three teams are tied. This is a case of paper-rock-scissors. The way they are going to decide is based on the number of runs per inning against the other teams included in the tie.

If Mexico had beat Canada with a score less than 3 then the US would not even have to play South Africa. There would have been no way they could win. Now all the US has to do is beat South Africa. And it is done for the Canadians.

But then again I don’t care. I won’t post on this if the Americans win and tells Canada to suck it. It makes no difference. And if the US loses, I might say something. It would be interesting. But it would make no difference. Baseball makes no difference. Baseball is an indication of things gone horribly horribly wrong. Baseball demonstrates how dull, tasteless, dry, boring and pathetic our lives have become.
Baseball, in theory, is a fun game to play. But it is so very very frickin’ boring to watch. And when things are only fun in theory, then they are not fun in actuality.

If you are here because I am writting about baseball don’t get your hopes up. This is not the best source of baseball related news. In fact I may devote an entire month to an anti-baseball tirade.
When is baseball season?

Right, it is forever. I mean they play 8,000,000 games in a season.

..the windup and a 2-2 pitch. Oh, no, wait a minute, the batter is calling for time. Looks like he’s going to get himself a new bat. And now there’s a beach ball on the field, and the ball boys are discussing which one of them’s going to go get it.

Blegh. Bad taste right here. I am pointing at my mouth. Blegh. Blegh. Unlikely I would allow baseball to ruin another evening for me.

Baseball sucks

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Etc.

Hell Yeah!

I hurdled in high-school. I was decent. I am short. And I hit a lot of hurdles when I ran. They left bruises, sometimes. But I always finished the race. I only fell once. And that was on my last race ever. I was in the lead when I hit the hurdle. But I got up and finished less than a tenth of a second behind the 8th place guy. 8th in the province. My pride was hurt. But I finished.

My last job was a transition job. I only took it because I was in limbo. Not sure what I was going to do next. But then I found Mr. Neil Diamond and his new album, 12 Songs. It was produced by the same people who produced Johnny Cash’s last number of albums. It is specacular. Here is the last song I listened to while at my last job.

This is also for anyone who has hit a hurdle. Neil is there for you. Here is his sage advice.

Hell Yeah

If you’re thinking that my life
Is a hoot and a holler
From the start of the day
To the dark of the night
And that its ringin’ like a bell
That you only want to follow
Gotta trust me when I say
I’m just trying to get it right

Still I think about myself
As a lucky old dreamer
If you’re askin’ me to tell
Is it worth what I paid
You gonna hear me say

Hell yeah it is
And I say it loud
I loved it all
And I’m not too proud
I freed my soul…just let it fly
Hell yeah this crazy life around me
It confuses and confounds me
But it’s all the life I’ve got until I die
Hell yeah it is

If you’re asking for my time
Isn’t much left to give you
Been around a good long while
So I gotta say it fast
Time is all we’ll ever need
But it’s gotta have a meaning
You be careful how it’s spent
Cause it isn’t going to last

I hear you wondering out loud
Are you ever gonna make it?
Will you ever work it out?
Will you ever take a chance
And just believe you can?

Hell yeah you will
You’re gonna be okay
And you might get lost
But then you’ll find a way
Don’t go alone
Can’t be afraid
Hell yeah
This life is here and it’s made for livin’
And love’s a gift that’s made for givin’
You give it all away and have it still
And Hell yeah you will

I’ve been living in a bowl
With a lot of people staring
With my feet on shaky ground
And my head up in the sky
But it’s where I want to be
It’s a life that’s made for caring
Got a song to pass the day
And a girl to share the night

So if they ask you when I’m gone
Was it everything he wanted?
When he had to travel on
Did he know he’d be missed?
You can tell them this

Hell yeah he did!
He saw it all
He walked the line
Never had to crawl
He cried a bit
But not for long
Hell yeah
He found the life that he was after
Filled it up with love and laughter
Finally got it right
And made it fit
Hell yeah he did!
Hell yeah he did!
Hell yeah he did!

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Etc.

Death is not the End

Today, at the time of this posting (exactly), I am done: Convergys and Comcast can kiss my ass.

I am walking out the doors of this dreaded institution and, hopefully, will never return.

Convergys, for those who do not know, is a project in outsourcing. Outsourced customer management for large businesses. FedEx, Comcast Cable, Time Warner, RoadRunner, American Express, Yahoo, Microsoft, Cigna, General Electric, Textron, and Honeywell. And those are only the ones handled in Canada never mind the American centres or those in other countries like India.

And customers are idiots. That is why they are calling. Customers do not always know best. In fact if they did then they would not be calling.

And there are dozens of these out-sourced companies. And the client companies sometimes employ more than one of these companies. That is why sometimes you have to re-enter or re-confirm your information. That also may be why you are constantly being transferred. Not only are you being pawned off on another call-agent, you are being pawned off onto another company. And these companies are not always on good terms with each other. Sometimes transfers are out of spite.

There are other problems with outsourcing. The call agents work for the call-centre to provide a service for the client company. The call agent only has loyalty, if any, to the call-centre and has no feelings, pride, or loyalty to the client company.

With everything the call-agent does being quantified the agent even can lose any loyalty to the call-centre. This is because the agent’s stats determine everything from raises to the hours of work to if vacation time are granted. The loyalty is only to self.

And, right now, my loyalty is solely to myself. I am leaving this hell-hole, never to return. I hate it. I loathe it. I am gone.

Today was zero.

C0nvergys is a zero. I hate you all.

And customers do not know what they want. They only think they do. Then they call you an idiot until you get everything sorted out and then you are Jesus Fucking Christ. Idiots.

Point. Click. Kapow. Fuck off.

And now I will get the fuck away from the depths of hell. I am going to the light, something beautiful is coming my way. And I want all of you to be there with me.

You know who you are.

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Etc.

Zero

No image for today. It is Zero.
Twenty-Six Zeros, to be exact. If you know what I mean, sorry.

No, the number zero.

You idiot.

There is no Letter Zero.

Now fuck off.
I am through with you.
I hate you all.

You know who you are.

[ No, not you. ]
[ You are my readers. ]
[ But then again . . . ]

Damnit!

I said they were ZEROS!

Just like you. . .

I will update at precisely 6:30PM CST

And it will be oh so sweet.

But don’t expect anything spectacular.

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