The Rintrarian Archive

Everywhere I go people ask me “What is your favourite animal?” And I always have the same answer. (Actually, no one ever asks me, but if they did it would explain this post.)

My favourite animal of all time is a lovable, cute, friendly animal. But it is illegal to have this animal as a pet or housed in a barn within city limits. Considering this animal is nearly extinct it should also be illegal to own or have possession of its horn, flipper, snout, tail, liver, any of its stomachs (believed to number between one and four) or any other body part for that matter. Because my favourite animal is virtually unknown it does not appear on any animal watch lists, or any extinct animal lists and so there is no legislation regarding this animal. As well there is very limited information in regards to this animal.

[Click Image for Larger Picture]

This is the Unitee, sometimes incorrectly called a Manacorn. It is mistakenly considered to be a cross between a Unicorn and a Manatee. This is as far from the case as the Unicorn being a cross between a horse and a rhino. [Quick Joke. What do you get if you cross an Elephant and a Rhinocerous? Elephino.] Curiously the Unitee does have many of the same characteristcs of a Unicorn and a Manatee.

Here are some facts:

• The Unitee has no natural enemies
• The Unitee reproduces very seldomly and it is only under what could be called “miraculous” circumstances
• The Unitee is nearly extinct, but that has always been the case.
• The Unitee is fast like a horse
• The Unitee is an excellant swimmer (due to its strong flippers)
• The Unitee’s horn is used for self-defence.
• The Unitee has rotating molars. When the front teeth wear or fall out the teeth shift to the front.
• The Unitee’s eyes have a membrane which protects their eyes.
• The Unitee has excellant eye-sight.
• To tell the sex of a Unitee you would investigate in a similar manner as to that of a horse – usually it is pretty obvious
• The Unitee is a gentle yet timid creature.
• When the Unitee runs it is nearly silent.
• The Unitee cannot fly, its flippers are for swimming.
• The Unitee is a herbavore.

So now I ask you, what is your favourite animal?

Three spectacular movies in two days. Dark Passage with Bogart and Bacall. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Johnny Depp. And The Big White with Robin Williams which was taped partially in good ol’ Winnipeg.

The other day I went to the Norwood hotel to see a friend of a friend and his band play. And am I ever glad I did. This was the best non-social social I ever went to.

Seeing a bunch of white people who can not dance out on the dance floor doing their best to not look stupid and failing is a wonderful time.

The only way I would ever do anything to contort myself in such a way is if I knew for certain that the lady friend I was with truly and whole-heartedly loved me unconditionally.

But it appeared that many of these people were there doing their thing in hopes to find that which I require myself to have in order for me to do the things these people were already doing. Maybe my unwillingness to look like someone trying put out a fire in my pants is the reason that I actually am unable to find someone to put a fire in my pants.

Some of the skinny people on the dance floor were rubbing each other so fast and furiously that it looked like these two sticks were ready to combust.

One of the best scenes was when two drunks, each holding a beer, were “going down” and the male idiot fell and spilled his beer. It took three people or so to pick him up.

The band’s rendition of “Praise You” was great and was only matched by Aaron and friend’s dancing.

For all you guys out there who are looking for mature love, the Norwood is the place to be. And if the couger hunters out there actually go then the cougers out there can go as well. As it stands there are more cougers than couger hunters and the ratio is not sustainable.

And just for the record, I did not hook up with any of these more mature ladies for the reason that I was unwilling to grope or be groped on the four foot by eight foot dance floor.

I have had one day off from work this week. I spent it looking for a different job. I had an interview but I don’t know what for.

I woke up at nine-ish. I shampooed my hair with Suave, hoping I would then be suave. I had some conditioner that I bought by mistake and I used some so that I could be as Outrageous as the brand name claims to be. I brushed with Crest because it was the type of toothpaste I had. Then I dressed in my Perry Ellis cackies, my Perry Ellis t-shirt and my Perry Ellis button up shirt. I also put on a tie so I would look a little more respectable. I like Perry Ellis. Nice clothes with a nice fit. And decent, normal person sizings for clothes. The Bay is a wonderful place.

Then I stopped by the Boyd Medical Centre and made an appointment to have the root of a tooth canaled. Two freakin’ weeks. Blegh. Argh. Yow-za.

Then to the Bay to look for some boots. And they gots nothing I wants. So the Army Surplus Store will serve my needs. A pair of boots used by some soldier named Lui or something that look like they have never been used is what adorns my feet for now.

I stopped at the Subway accross from the University of Winnipeg and ate quickly and then headed home. I considered going to Juniors restaurant but that did not seem like what I was hungering for.

Juniors reminds me of a time sometime in early 2001 when Zylstra, Siebert, Rusty and Chelmo and I were prepping for the big tear gas party in Quebec City. We stopped at Juniors and had some kick-ass burgers. Or so I remember them now. After those burgers we returned to our dorm rooms. In April 2001 we would venture to the Mondragon and then off to Quebec City to protest the FTAA and get tear gased. We stayed in a church that Rusty had arranged for us. It was a decent time. Something to talk about at a different. This is especially true because I did not go to Juniors on the day of the job interview. This tangent makes no sense outside of my mind. Thanks for coming with me on this journey.

My Ipod was erring on the day of the interview. I was wanting to listen to Clap Your Hands, Say Yeah! but the Ipod was stuck or shorted out or something. Kind of pissed me off. But I had a good interview. I got new boots. And I ate some Subway. Plus I remember good friends and I being tortured by police who assumed too much power and were acting too big for their britches.

Other than my day off I did nothing spectacular. Except on Friday evening. But I will talk about that tomorrow when I sober up a bit.

Several things have become apparent to me in the last while. The first is that everything can be presented as a list. The second is that the list can be alphabetical. Third, I love my Ipod. Fourth, my music can be displayed alphabetically. And Fifthly, too many people do not understand the definition of cool or hip and therefore get them confused. I hope this list will help.

Here is what I have been listening to lately. Everything on this list is just great. If you have any suggestions for the missing letters (one for Z – pronounced Zed – two for Q and one for X) I would be more than willing to give it a listen. But check out the list. You may find that you are neither hip or cool, or you are both. You may also learn that we are not that different afterall.