Monthly Archives:
December 2005

Good Fences Make Good Neighbours?

The US is going to study the feasibility of building a wall between Canada and the US. This study came about as an amendment to a bill and was sponsored by Duncan Hunter, a Californian Republican. Hunter also sponsored a bill to put lights, cameras and action on one thousand kilometres of the US-Mexican border to stop the flow of illegal aliens and drugs.

I think it is about damn time that a wall be erected between Canada and the US. A wall that forces the government to re-think NAFTA and free-trade with the US. A wall that also would curb illegal guns from being run from the US into Canada. A wall built by Americans at their expense because they see us Canadians as the threat. If the alleged terrorists are entering the US through Canada then a wall may be a good idea. I don’t think that it would make the US safer because any terrorist will still get past the US border patrol. (Psst. The US border guards are responsible for providing/denying entry to the US.)

A wall between Canada and the US is a great idea though. Guns will not be run into Canada as easily. And, if the wall is high enough, it will stop those damn dreaded Colorado Lows from wreaking havoc in Manitoba weather systems (and may stop the migraines I get that are caused by weather changes).

But who would get the contract? The Chinese have a Great Wall on their resume but the stigma of building something across the North American continent may be too much. The German’s had a wall but it crumbled under political pressure. If the US is looking for a contractor for an actual wall then the Russians will not even make the short list. They were more interested in curtains made of iron.

A fence, a wall or a curtain, it does not matter. I am all for the idea. Having to share a continent with the ignorant and arrogant Americans is sometimes too much for me. While I myself may not notice any real significant difference at least I can sleep better at night knowing that it is there.

*** Addendum ***

The US seems to like things to leave the US and enter into Canada. When the tables are turned, however, the US is a little uneasy. For example, softwood lumber, Canadian Beef and grain. But when North Dakota wanted to divert water from Devil’s Lake the US was gung-ho and Manitobans were uneasy because there was no real testing done to determine if anything harmful was in that water. The American governments are uneasy about having beef from Canada enter their country because of one or two incidents of BSE but Canadians are being unreasonable when there is a legitimate concern about drinking water? A little absurd.

A wall between Canada and the US, to me, would demostrate how differently we see the world. And that difference is growing. Fire and Ice provides definitive proof of the gulf between American and Canadian values.

HEY
Fire and Ice
by Michael Adams

What the Heck is "Electioneering"?

In what is being called “electioneering,” Paul Martin has been putting bees in American bonnets. Harper and Layton, on this, agree. Harper, distancing himself from his American Brotherhood of Conservatives, has called the American ambassador’s interference “inappropriate.” The stigma attached to being America’s plaything appears to be too much even for a Canadian conservative. While I cannot determine his motives, I postulate that there is some sort of “electioneering” going on in Harper’s camp.

After Bush was re-elected there were Americans “threatening” to move to Canada. Now it seems that some Canadians may move to the US if P.Martin wins again. I believe in diversity but having all the Conservatives move south (to suffer the wrath of God a la hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, and earthquakes) and having the liberals move north does sound like a good idea. The only problem is that the US is an island unto itself and then it would appear that we would be creating another Australia. In itself that is not so bad an idea but I don’t think I could handle another Crocodile Dundee movie. And Harper would be but a flyweight in the American Conservative League. And he could not be President. No one votes for robots (ie. Bob Dole).

And what is the penalty for “electioneering”? There likely is not one for the definition being used by so-called politicians. I understand electioneering to be trying to convince voters of something at their place of voting at the time of voting. If, and I guess this is how it is being used today, electioneering is trying to do or say things to convince people to vote a certain way then P.Martin is electioneering. So what?

The root word, and I am no linguist or etymologist, of “electioneering” is “election” or “elect.” It would seem to me that this is the goal of a politician. A politician wants a job so that s/he has some reason to get out of the house and into the House. The only way to get the job is to convince others that s/he is better than Person B or Robot 1. And so the candidate will “electioneerize” the populous and convince them with words, empty words, promises and soon-to-be-broken promises. (And hand-shakes and baby-kisses.)

So now you have three choices (unless you count the Greens or the Bloc) for Prime Minister. You can have a PM that keeps trying to touch Bush’s hand when they both go for the popcorn (making it sneaky) or you want a PM that laughs at Bush when Bush describes the size of his arsenal (playing hard to get) or you want a PM that could not get a date with Bush because he has a funny moustache (the A/V club).

Or you can move out of Canada if the party you wanted did not win because you can’t believe in a democracy that has different ideas than you. But it is those differing ideas that the politicians are going to use to try and convince you to give them your vote. Ideas such as “Dealing with Americans”, “Standing Firm on Softwood”, “Talking with Robots” and other smaller issues like health-care and gun maintenance. (And beer for children.)

So get over the fact that politicians are trying to “electioneer” and use the actual word for what they are doing: Swindle.

And get over yourself.

Political Viscosity is Proportional to the Measure of Harper

Viscosity Testing
During election time the political jargon is diluted and then its viscosity is tested and re-tested. The political process itself proves the existence of God because this process can be found in nature which, we all know, was created by Doctor God. A clear example of the scientific process can be seen through experimentation and analysis. Checking to see how easily certain words and phrases will roll off the backs of Canadians, Stephen Harper says one thing, sees the results, dilutes it, sees the new results and then, if necessary, changes the substance that he diluted and observes the results of the new “solution.”

For example, Stephen Harper has said some things (some of which I have responded earlier) and he now has responded to some assertions that he is a long-lost in-bred family member of American (Neo-)Conservatives.

[Fwd: Fw: Fwd: Re-respond
The interesting thing is that the column does not look so much like an indictment on Harper but rather on the Liberals. But, because some Canadians may not be entirely comfortable with the foot-massages and pillow-fights that Harper and Bush may have in the future, Harper seems to have found it necessary to respond to the article. To his response I will respond. It is my duty to myself to do my duty.

Harper's letter said the "pro-free trade, pro-Iraq war, anti-Kyoto and socially conservative" characterization of his policy was an oversimplification of his positions.

Of course it is an oversimplification, dumb-ass. Patrick Basham's December 2nd article, Gift from Canada, was a newspaper column and not a book. It most certainly was not a psycho-analysis of Harper and was not meant to define all the terms and ideas that Harper has swimming in the cesspool of his mind.

What I don't understand is, if Harper loves the US, why did he "try to distance himself" from the Bush Administration. Unless it is a dilution and a viscosity test for Canadians? Maybe I was wrong about Harper wanted to donate all of his blood and inject the Red-White-and-Blue into his veins. We will see . . .

Playing Keep Away

[Harper] said that while he supports free trade, Canada would expand its trade relationships with Asian countries if the United States didn’t pay the $5 billion in softwood lumber penalties.

So . . . the US can suck a donkey’s testicle if they do not fork over the cash. This is what Layton and Martin have kind of been saying especially when suggesting export duties on energy. But Harper has another suggestion and, might I add, it demonstrates his commitment to Free Trade rather than diminishes it. If the US does not play fair then Harper will take his ball and go play with the Asian kid. (Even though Harper has said that Asians in Canada vote Liberal.) This point does not seem to demonstrate a difference from American policies.

Playing Hide-N-Seek

But [Harper] said he would not commit Canadian troops to the country and added his “great disappointment” at not substantiating pre-war intelligence regarding weapons of mass destruction.

Mr Harper will not be sending troops to Iraq even though he said he applauds the US’s role in Saddam’s demise. Mr Harper will not be sending troops even though he said we should even when he knew nothing about anything about Iraq.

“I don’t know all the facts on Iraq, but I think we should work closely with the Americans.â€? (Report Newsmagazine, March 25 2002)

“We should have been there shoulder to shoulder with our allies. Our concern is the instability of our government as an ally. We are playing again with national and global security matters.” (Canadian Press Newswire, April 11, 2003)

I [Will : Did] [Not] [Do : Say : Think] [$variable]
In his response to Basham’s column he said he would vote to bring back the definition of marriage that describes him personally and would throw out the definition of marriage that describes his activities as a politician. He also said he would not vote for or initiate a motion to ban abortions yet he does not take a stance on the issue of handing out coat-hangers in schools.

Abort-Shun? Homos-EX-ual?
I just don’t see how Harper’s comments distance himself from the Bush White House. Sure he says that he would not send troops to Iraq. What politician would right now? If Duceppe said he would send Canadians to Iraq it might make sense but there is not a single politician outside of Quebec that could possible be THAT stupid. (For that, Mr Harper, I tip my imaginary hat.) [Please note: The comment before the parenthesis was not to insinuate that all politicians in Quebec are stupid, rather that those outside of Quebec cannot be as stupid as they usually sound.]

The other “difference” that Harper seems to allude to is that he would not do anything to ban abortions. That is fine and dandy. But is that enough to say that you are different than your American monkey-faced cousin in the White House? There are fewer evidences of Creationism than there are proofs that you and the White House are different, and yet Christian’s still believe in Creationism.

Your rhetoric, Mr Harper, is diluted and deluded, and I do not think it is possible to dilute your message enough for it to be the message that Canada needs to hear.

Blah Blah Blah to Death

I love the Internet. I mean you can write anything and someone might read it. That was the case when I wrote Quoth the Harper. I have had this site for quite some time now. I have changed formats and content oh so often. So when I wrote that article I was getting very few hits ever. Then all of a sudden it went like gangbusters. I only write to clear my mind. This is for me. I am not an informational source. I speak for no one but myself. But some people just don’t get it. I do like criticism better than complements. At least I can do something with criticism. But this comment attacks me not because of what I said, per se, but as to how I wrote it. Then the commenter picks one tiny parenthetical comment and harps on it. In the interest of balance and fair-play I will pick on the commenter in return.

I’m not sure if you think your writing is eloquent or insightful, but it comes off more as that of a angsty college student who THINKS he’s eloquent or insightful.

If you are looking on a blog for insight or eloquence then I can assume that you look to fortune cookies for advice and bathroom stall walls for good fiction and poetry. The word “blog” translates from Dork as “barf.” My site is my own barfing bucket. If you step in it then it is your own fault. I am not an “angsty college student” I am an “angsty college graduate.” If we are looking at how people say things as being the truly important part of what is said then your use of “angsty” appears to be an insult. But I am not offended. In fact I am amused. I was not “angsty” in high-school. I was not “angsty” in college. I was never happier than when I was in college.

Angst – A German word which means “anxiety” or “anguish.” Technically, this is a term used in Existentialism which expresses the dread reality that the future is an unknown chasm; therefore, the choices that a person ( the existent ) makes are the determining factor in the outcome of one’s future – thus, the cause for “angst.” — www.apolgetics.org

This definition of angst does describe me. The future is unknown. The choices that Canadians make will help shape that future. I am anxious to see how things turn out.

Your assertion that he will have a female backbencher try to criminalize abortion “on his behalf� reaks of tinfoil conspiracy theories and you offer no proof, empirical or otherwise, to support your claims. In other words, too much hyperbole, not enough substance.

Why would I need to provide proof of something that I said hypothetically? I said “maybe” he would have a female present a private member’s bill. I said that he would not present a bill himself. And if you search google you will see that he has said himself that he would not stop it from happening. As for the tinfoil? Well, I made enough hats that I can’t cook my casserole tonight. (Don’t you see, not only am I angsty I am also sarcastic.)

The liberal strategy of demonizing the Conservatives on abortion/gay marriage is exactly that – a strategy. It has no basis in reality and its only purpose is to manipulate voters into pulling support from the Cons and the NDP and into the liberals.

Of course demonizing the other guys is always the strategy of choice. If it is the Liberal’s using this strategy then of course it is going to try to pull votes from the other parties. (And you accuse ME of being un-insightful??) That is what politics is all about. But that is not my strategy. My strategy is this: Write the stuff that is on my mind and put it on the Internet. What you go and do is your choice. I barf into my blog-barf-bucket.

But your choice, so it appears, is to pick one small tiny paranthetical fragment of my post and blah blah blah it to death. Abortion really is not my area of expertise. I am male and will never have to go through an abortion. But I did just say a little about it. I ahve an opinion, so I shared it. But then blah blah blah. You aborted everything else I said.

And I do not mean to demonize the Harper. Everyone knows only humans can be demonized. Robots don’t have souls.

Bodyless Headline

“We’ve uncovered some embarrassing ancestors in the not-too-distant past. Some horse thieves, and some people killed on Saturday nights. One of my relatives, unfortunately, was even in the newspaper business.” — Jimmy Carter

Headlines are interesting. My own headline weaves in and out in a W shape. Some call it male-pattern baldness or something. I call it sexy. But then again I have to, it is my headline. But news headlines sometimes say a lot. Especially several about a particular topic. So I plugged the three main attractions of the election in English-speaking Canada into Google News and found some interesting results. Here they are with my own commentary after each section. The Harper is first because if I know my readers then I know they find him as fascinating as I do. The P.Martin and the guy from the NDP – Monsieur Moustache. Just note that I was somewhat selective and that I do not care about my bias. I have none. (Vote Pedro?)

Stephen Harper

According to the most prominent links in the Google News search it would appear that Harper is interested in protecting small businesses and fish. And while he does not want to personally touch gays, he may want to touch a dude in a turban and the P.Martin (Passions and Poles Polls??)

And while Day-Care did not appear here, I have a theory about Harper’s plan. I figure he has devised a way to start his own day-care program (private practice of course) which would cost a family exactly $1200 a year. I don’t know how he has done it, but that is my working theory. If the Liberals win, of course, he will open his practise still but will charge whatever the Liberal’s are paying. For Harper this is win-win.

Paul Martin

Deciphering these headlines is a little bit more tedious than that of Harper. Harper is crazy but at least he is straight-forward (and possibly straight. Not that there is anything wrong with that.) The P.Martin knows the environment is out there and that we should close the door and keep it out. And in some ways we should keep what is inside from getting out. Handguns are not cool and so they are out.

As for the P.Martin facing questions over his plane, kudos. Most people would have taken questions outside or inside of the plane. But PMartin went over the top, literally. (Or did I misread that?) And PMartin is bold. Not only does he get on top of a plane and decries that his weapon of choice is going to be illegal (leaving him defenseless) he goes and rejects an attack by Lord. What I don’t get is why P.Martin is still alive. I mean if he is outside, on a plane, with no gun and he openly defies Lord then why was he not struck down by lightning (or did I get that wrong too). And PMartin has a passion for Harper’s poll too, so it is mutual.

Jack Layton

News about Layton is very interesting. It reads like a Hollywood blockbuster. The main character (Layton) and his crew (they are really really cute roadies) decide they are going to clean up corruption and a section of highway. But then the evil oil-patch Pirates attack and take issue, whatever that means. (I like Pirates better than Cowboys but if Stephen Harper agrees then we will re-write the script and he has the part). The Pirates show they are human beings and then the Roadies realize they are not so differen, and so they hold hands and dance around a Festivus Pole. But then when the song ends and the 100% CanCon soundtrack is back on, the Pirates capture the Roadies and shave Layton’s moustache which was the secret to his super-powers. Layton then explains to the Pirates, to be perfectly clear, what he meant when he said he wanted to be clear. Using words and not fists the Roadies and the Pirates learn to co-exists. And while Layton is talking the Pirates comment on his Aplomb as Layton is sitting there naked as a jay-bird with no moustache.

And that is the story of how the Roadies and the Pirates became friends. By the way, what is aplomb?

And that is the news as only the headlines can report it.

When it Sucks, It Blows.

Sometimes I have to work because I need the money. You weigh the issues and ask yourself, Can I wake up every morning and do this?” — Linda Fiorentino

I hate paying taxes. But I pay them because it is too much work to avoid them and get away with it. I hate working but it is miserable doing nothing when you have no other choice because you have no money. The only thing that is worse than being out of work without any money is having a job and having no money.

I pay my taxes because there are benefits to paying them – Employment Insurance, health care, roads for the bus and my scooter to drive on, and other things but I am too upset, frustrated, depressed to mention now.

I pay my bills because there are benefits to paying them – electricity, Internet, housing, the ability to call people on the phone and the freedom of not being in jail or something. I don’t know what the hell happens if you don’t pay your student loans.

I go to work so that I can pay taxes and bills. But I do not like working. I am lazy. To a degree. When I was working on my BA at the UofM I worked damn fucking hard. I made the question of my essays more difficult than it needed to be. I mean, why the hell did I write a paper on Shakespeare’s Richard III from a feminist perspective? I don’t understand feminism. But I got an A. And why did I write a critical review on a book about Jesus from the perspective of New Historicism when it meant studying New Historicism which was not something taught in the class except in passing? But I got an A. But at work I don’t care enough to even consider looking into questioning my ability to contemplate giving a flying fuck.

The other day the fridge in my apartment stopped working. This fridge, by the way, was used by Jesus to store the leftovers after the last supper. The Catholic Church were interested in purchasing it from the agency that owns this building because it is a sacred relic. And I am sure the agency sold it to them. But they charged us for the fridge because apparently there is only one way in which an ancient fridge can stop working: Abuse by the Tenant. Well, FUCK YOU TOO!

Then, today, I get a nice friendly letter from those fuckheads at Revenue Canada. They took away my Education Housing Credit or some other shit. Which means I owe them a fucking $430 for one year of some credit I did not know that I even got.

I do have some money in my account but it is dwindling. After I pay my monthly installment for my scooter, my phone bill, electricity and my credit card and then this damn Revenue Canada bullshit I will have almost nothing for gifts for those I actually care about.

Here is the icing on the cake. On the bus ride home today I met the woman I am supposed to become infatuated with. Her name, I don’t know. But if you, infatuation girl, are reading this. I got on the 60 on Pembina and you got off at Confusion Corner. I was wearing a greenish-brown coat and a green toque. I have blond hair (which you couldn’t see), blue eyes, a goatee (but I’ll shave it if you don’t like it or keep it if you do, or do whatever if you don’t ever get in touch with me). But, I fear, you got off the bus and out of my life. Nothing is going my way.

Yet some would say I am needlessly ranting. Those people would be minimizing my concerns. I am stuck at a job I dislike. With an income that is barely allowing me to make ends meet. And am owing to too many money-hungry oafish apes who feel no shame or guilt in anything because they are locked into a bureaucratic system that does not bend or shed a tear for anyone. And I am all to single. Basically these minimizers are saying that “Hey, it could be worse.” But it being worse is not the issue. The issue is that it sucks right now.

Eventually I will get over myself and my money issues. It is just that I have never ever even questioned myself about money. I have always been able to save up enough to provide a nice cushion to fall back on. But that is just it. When it sucks, it blows.

Quoth the Harper

“You’ve got to remember that west of Winnipeg the ridings the Liberals hold are dominated by people who are either recent Asian immigrants or recent migrants from eastern Canada: people who live in ghettoes and who are not integrated into western Canadian society. ” Quoth the Harper (Report Newsmagazine, January 22, 2001)

Western alienation is something only felt by people who have lived for generations in western Canada and are white, so it would appear. It also seems that if you are white then Harper wants your vote. If you are Asian, from eastern Canada or are poor then you are too stupid for the Conservative party. But, stupid or not, Harper probably wants your vote. Or so it seems that this is how Stephen Harper feels. If this is not what Harper believes then the question is: What does Stephen Harper believe?

Harping on Values

“But I’m very libertarian in the sense that I believe in small government and, as a general rule, I don’t believe in imposing values upon people.â€? (National Post, March 6, 2004)

Abortion and Same-Sex Marriage are both questions about values. When life begins is a question of faith and belief. There is no way to definitively define nor to definitively determine when life beings. This means that a woman must decide for herself when life begins and must act accordingly. If a woman all her life believed that life began at conception then I would hold her in very low regard if she had an abortion and reversed her opinion on the matter. But she would not be wrong. If there is no absolute right then there can be no absolute wrong. It is a matter of personal morality and a value that Harper has an opinion on and wishes to impose on people. However he would not impose this directly as a government bill but, rather, have one of his men (maybe a woman for the appeal to that demographic for some reason) present a private member’s bill.

Same-sex marriage is also a question of values. I, personally, do not understand gay sex, the gay lifestyle, the gay scene or dancing. That is, unless, it is two women. But that is where preference comes into play. It is not sexist for me to say so, but it is hot. Furthermore, I believe that if a man loves a man, a woman loves a woman, or a woman and a man love each other then get married already. Fine and dandy. As far as religion is concerned in there, if your religion forbids it then you best be changing religion or conforming to the ideals. If you want to get married then realize that a government bill supporting or denying rights will not change what your god, goddess or phallic symbol will feel about your relationship. The government bill about marriage is purely financial and has no consequences on the price of your eternal real-estate. It is about values. Respect your own and everyone else’s. And shut-up already.

Harping On Welfare

“Our position generally has been to recognize the need for reduction in the areas of federal transfers and specifically in the area of welfare.â€? (Hansard, March 25, 1994 – in the HoC)

“I think in Atlantic Canada, because of what happened in the decades following Confederation, there is a culture of defeat that we have to overcome. …Atlantic Canada’s culture of defeat will be hard to overcome as long as Atlantic Canada is actually physically trailing the rest of the country.” (New Brunswick Telegraph Journal, May 29, 2002)

In Harper’s eyes it is OK to kick a man with one testicle in the ball. The Atlantic provinces are not faring as well as anyone would like and it seems that Albertans have forgotten what it was like before 1946. Before LeDuc struck oil. As nice as it sounds, it seems that all Harper wants to do for the poor is provide golden showers. And everyone knows that such a shower is not as luxurious as it may sound.

But Harper has announced a promise to provide money to parents so the children can be sent off to day-care. Rather than simply providing a national day-care system Harper wishes to give money to parents. Harper does not believe in a universal system for helping Canadians. In fact he brags about being against such things.

“Universality has been severely reduced: it is virtually dead as a concept in most areas of public policy…These achievements are due in part to the Reform Party…â€? (Speech to the Colin Brown Memorial Dinner, National Citizens Coalition, 1994)

“These proposals included cries for billions of new money for social assistance in the name of “child poverty� and for more business subsidies in the name of “cultural identity�. In both cases I was sought out as a rare public figure to oppose such projects.� (The Bulldog, National Citizens Coalition, February 1997)

“Recently, the Ministry of Finance released a document that showed our unemployment insurance program to be one of the most generous in the world. This can create serious disincentives to upgrade skills, to work and to move to find work.â€?(Hansard, January 20, 1994 – In the HoC)

Money for social assistance is a bad thing, for Harper that is. But he pledges to give money. Has he diverted from his values? Will he hold true to his promises? Harper does not like the government taking money from one person and giving it to another. This is like stealing. The government should not be Robin Hood. The government should not even be Rocket Robin Hood or Friar Tuck. Rather the government should be the audience and should watch as Dr Manta destroys RRH and FT. If Harper actually means to help people, and money is the only way a government could do that, then he must believe in taxes of some sort.

Harping On Taxes

“We must aim to make [Canada] a lower tax jurisdiction than the United States.� (Vancouver Province, April 6, 2004)

[Rintrah Shrugs] The only way that is possible is to reduce spending. The only way to reduce spending is to stop spending and that means that something will be gone. The CBC, health-care, social services, and pretty much everything else except the military, the RCMP and our ever growing space program. Some day we may reach the clouds. The thing about taxes is that if we don’t have to pay the government then we will have to pay someone else for those services. So, while taxes may be less we still may end up paying more money per person for a service that would be provided to fewer people. Much like the American system. Canadians pay less per GDP than the US on health-care and everyone in Canada is covered. Not so much a guarantee in the US.

Harping on Harper
Stephen Harper is a politician. Politicians play politics. Politics involves saying things sweet to the ear. People like hearing things sweet to the ear. What is sweet to the ear rots the brain. By the transitive property, then, listening to Harper leads to brain-rot.

Stephen Harper does not believe in Canada. He does not believe in people. Stephen Harper appears to have dynamic answers to all our problems but all his answers are to questions that have died, been buried and have been turning in their graves as Harper and Friends have been telling hero stories about them. Harper seems to think that throwing money at an issue is not a viable answer except when it is to the question of how to get votes. Cut GST? Why not, it at least sounds good and $250 dollars, my my. Day-Care money IN YOUR HANDS? Why not, I like holding money.

The thing is that Harper does not seem to like Canadians. He wants to “firewall” off Alberta and re-negotiate federal-provincial relationships. He wants to keep Alberta from paying equalization payments to, say, the Maritime provinces. He feels that the west is alienated from the east but then considers the Maritimes (the eastern most region) as a region “physically trailing” Canada. He does not like the Liberal voters in the West because they are not from there. I guess they are tourists. He does not want to tell you what your values should be. But he can have others do it for him. He feels that helping people in need only can lead to helping more people in need. And the rich need to have tax breaks. Because, for the rich, tax breaks are an incentive to make more money. A poor man with money in his pocket is lazy. A rich man with money in his pocket is an investor.

It looks like Harper wants to be an American but, because he is Canadian, he can never be President so he wants to make Canada look and feel more like he was in the US. And he will say and do whatever it takes to get there. Because it is most important to Harper, and I guess to all of us Canadians, that the US love us and let us suck at its teet.

“We’ve just become increasingly irrelevant to a country [U.S.] that has a lot of priorities…â€? (CBC Newsworld, July 11, 2003)

Because being thought of as relevant by a country that hates the poor, the minorities, those living different lifestyles or refusing to be assimilated is a very important. Being thought of as relevant as an ally by a country that blows up and invades those that are relevant only for economic and semi-political reasons is important for the reason of not being invaded. And if Canada were to be irrelevant it would damage our ego, not to mention our street-cred. As long as we are relevant then it does not matter what we think of the individuals in our country. Our greatness is determined by our relevance on the world scene not on how we treat our own people – the poor, the minorities, the religious, the non-religious, the other religious groups, the gays, and any other group.

But I feel that Harper is wrong.

Start of 100 years of Dirty Laundry

Politics is a game where everyone thinks they are above average.

Harper thinks he offers “change” for Canadians. What he is offering to do is re-open the Same-Sex Marriage debate which would not bring a change to something new but to an old-world line of thinking. He is also offering to cut the GST which is a venture back in time to Chretien who vowed to cut it and a leap back to before the Mulroney Conservatives were in office when it did not yet exist. Change for Harper is not to move to something new but a Quantum Leap back to a time when things were broken and needed fixing.

Change for Harper is also pocket change. His proposal for cutting the GST works out to $400 a person. But that is to misunderstand how the GST works. To say that this will save all Canadians $400 is a mistake. $400/person only happens if everyone spends the exact same amount in a year. A cut in the GST will not really be seen by those in the lower income brackets. Cutting the GST will hurt the government’s ability to provide services to Canadians and that would affect the lower-income bracketed families more than the upper-end. So the GST cut saves the poor nothing yet costs them vital services. That is not a change I would want.

Paul Martin is saying that there is some sort of threat to National unity. That threat is politicians (in my opinion). The Liberals did some pretty shady things. The Conservatives yell at them. And the BQ says “See both those guys are screwing us, let’s get the funk out of here.” The interesting thing here is that Harper does not see the comparison between the Same-Sex Marriage issue and Quebec sovereignty. In both cases the issue will never be dropped. All sides will fight and fight and fight. There will be referendums and polls, Supreme Court rulings, laws, revoked laws, notwithstanding clauses and, just to make it a tie, Harper should pull out the War Measures Act and round up all the gays and then make them watch heterosexual pr0n until they are straight. Harper won’t quit fighting the gay-marriage thing and neither will the BQ and PQ quit fighting for separatism.

But Paul Martin knows how to keep a country together. Simply by keeping government as long has he did is somewhat meaningful. So Martin too is above average. But not so much as the Green Party. The Greens will be fighting for the earth and not throwing wet portions of it. The Greens are better than throwing fecal matter at the other parties.

But so far the only party that I have seen to make promises that actually look like they will help Canada and Canadians is the NDP. Rather than using tax cuts why not invest in education. Education would at least help the stupid but it would also help Canada become less stupid as a whole. And then, maybe, the Conservatives would disappear. And that is why conservatives do not vote for the NDP.

So far our choices are:

  1. Less than $400
  2. Lessened threat to a Unified Canada
  3. Less Mud slinging
  4. Keep taxes and raise education

To me the choice is obvious but we have another hundred years worth of dirty laundry to air out.